I once got myself in debt by splurging on suits and shoes for my brother-in-law’s wedding and letting the repayments spiral.
Another time, I had to skip a friend’s stag do in Hamburg because I missed the self-assessment deadline and got stung with a hefty tax bill.
And when I booked a holiday to propose to my then-girlfriend-now-wife, by the time departure day rolled around I hadn’t saved up enough for the engagement ring, and had to borrow from my dad to cover the cost.
If you were ever going to call anyone “bad with money”, I fit the bill perfectly.
But if you’ve used that phrase to describe yourself at any point, take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone.
According to a 2025 report by the UK’s Building Societies Association:
22% of workers say money worries have adversely affected their performance at work
19% say they needed to take time off work due to illness caused by financial concerns
21% say they couldn’t cover a £300 unexpected expense
When I think about my own relationship with money, what’s most revealing aren’t the problems I ended up with – debt, tax issues, living paycheque to paycheque – but the behaviours that led me there.
Spending to feel better. Trying to “keep up with the Joneses”. Avoiding or ignoring money matters completely. All of these have their roots in things like anxiety and depression, and anyone wanting to change their own money behaviours ought to address those deep-seated issues first.
That’s big work, though. In the short term, just having a budgeting document (that you check and update regularly) and a savings account (that you transfer into by standing order straight after payday) can go a long way.
The truth is that to transform your relationship with money, you don’t need to become a spreadsheet wizard or spend hours in therapy or checking an investment portfolio. (Although the latter are both worth investigating when you’re ready, I can attest.) You just need to be willing to take one or two small actions over and over and over again – ones that seem inconsequential in the moment, but that when added up over time make a truly meaningful difference.
As for me, my money habits still aren’t perfect, but the little changes I’ve made have put me in a much stronger position. And when I fall short or when life throws a curveball my way, as it always will, I tell myself one thing worth remembering:
You might never be good with money. Being better with money than you were is enough.
Until next time,
Adam Kay
